listening is work

image: unsplash.com/@alexisrbrown

this morning i had a brief exchange with a friend about her pushing her white colleagues in ministry to do the work.

i come from a family of clergy folk. so i’ve witnessed what work in that context can look like. it’s long hours, showing up to all the actions. presiding over funerals and weddings in the same week. taking the call at 1am from the local jail. helping find resources to cover utilities or groceries, or paying for them yourself.

work looks different to different people.

in this present moment (tbd if this is actually a movement, but we’ll see), folks are left not knowing what to do. and i didn’t add a descriptor to what kind of folks i’m talking about because we are all asking what we can do.

and it’s exhausting.

but probably not as exhausting as for centuries, hearing story after story of brutalization, mistaken identity, wrongful arrest, wrongful conviction, institutionalized racism, inequitable pay, of your friends, family, people who look like you.

and it continues on.

and on.

and on.

work is starting reading groups using books that are all sold out because all of a sudden the consciousness of this nation has been pricked. but it’s not all of a sudden.

work is sharing an article that has profound commentary on this issues of the day and resisting adding your own commentary that oftentimes takes away from the article itself.

work is passing the mic to someone without endorsement or introduction from you, because they have their own platform to stand on. and i mean that figuratively and literally.

some might even consider work as issuing or sharing statements from your organization or faith community.

perhaps your church (or fill in the blank with the equivalent of your organization or faith tradition) has put out a statement that looks something like this. maybe you’ve been inclined to write one. i know orgs i’m a part of have:

(Fill in the blank of the org/leadership) statement on the Pandemic of Racism

The past (enter the amount of time) have left many (fill in the feelings) as we have witnessed the deaths of unarmed Black persons at the hands of police and racism; (fill in all the names as far back as you want to go) were somebody’s family. They are siblings, children, family, and many more who go unnamed.

(A paragraph about what you’ve done to amplify and center Black persons)

(Quote a Black person in leadership from your org or proxy org calling you to do better.)

As a leader of (fill in the blank organization), we ask you to recall (fill in the blank asking people to remember the statements your org has put out about justice).

We affirm peaceful (name the action) as a way to cry out for justice. Also notice they used the descriptor ‘peaceful’ so as not to endorse any other form of rage. MLK used the word ‘riot’ but whatevs.

The time has passed to act. Let us (name the action) for change.

As a next step, we call on you to read all you can about being an anti-racist (and name some books for good measure). Talk to your people. Add a quote from an influencer about why reading is important, while also not offering a whole lot more guidance on what to do next.

For the next (fill in the desired time period: 8 minutes and 46 seconds, 2 minutes 23 seconds…you get the idea), pray for all the people who suffer at the hands of state inflicted violence.

In closing, (quote a leader in your tradition who is calling you to task).

Sincerely,

x

we are well past the statement issuing phase (though brands sure are trying), so please don’t take this as an endorsement to take what i wrote above as a template. i literally took a letter that was issued and turned it into mad libs.

so go ahead. try the webinars and conversations where you invite Black folks to be in conversation with your white church. because dialogue is important.

try the book clubs and reading groups because reading and research are important. but what happens after the eight-week book club on How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi? or at week five of said study, when people go back to their routines after the next phases of the plans to reopen from COVID-19 are in effect and not everyone finishes the study or the book? when have you read enough? what then?

what’s the end goal? is there one?

work is listening; listening takes work.

a friend who i shared this post with offered the feedback (that i solicited), asking what good listening looks like in practice. and i hear it. i’ve heard some white folks reach out for help; claiming ignorance and helplessness when it comes to matters of justice movements (literally every movement).

i don’t have an answer for what active listening looks like. but if Black people and POCs have had to figure out how to navigate systems that weren’t set up for them, surely you will be able to figure it out. it’s personal and communal.

whatever you do, do it because you are working toward something—some of which i hope includes actual liberation and freedom for all.

i’m not here to tell you what that is.

this friend i was chatting with said this: The fastest way to change the patriarchy is for them (in this case cis-hetero-white-men) to sabotage it, not lead it. and the same could be said of other ally work.

so sure, put out a statement. but i also hope that means pairing it with action. do your homework. engage in personal and communal inventorying.

listen.

and maybe we don’t always have to hear about it. just do it.

peace.